DE_DUST - A counter-terrorist team has successfully brought down a group of terrorists after 5 minutes of violent gunfight in the middle-eastern ruins of De_Dust. It was believed that the terrorists were planning to plant a bomb at a secluded section of the area which was filled with unimportant-looking crates and boxes; the reason for this is still unknown. The terrorists comprised of five members; each wearing different attire representing 5 different terrorist cells from across the globe.

“It was a close call,” quoted Sergeant Sh4aRp_Sh00ta, the commanding officer of the counter-terrorist team, “when Lieutenant S3xorz shot the last terrorist in the head from behind a brick wall, the bomb was already planted and was at 60 seconds and counting. Luckily, Private D3agle had the foresight to buy a bomb defusing kit and managed to disarm the bomb at the last second.”

Ahmed 3leCtrofvnk, one of the terrorists who survived the confrontation and is now held in custody, disapproved of the counter-terrorist team’s method of attack. “They were all AWP sniper whores, and I’m pretty sure that one of the infidel cowards was using wall-hack technology.” Furthermore, there have been unconfirmed reports that some of the counter-terrorist members were camping, a tactic that is frowned upon by military bodies the world over and is banned by the United Server Admins Council.

Despite of the counter-terrorist team’s questionable acts, it is unanimously believed that the terrorists lost the battle because they were all a bunch of n00bs. “There was this one terrorist guy who tried to engage me in a frontal assault using merely his combat knife, while I was clearly holding an M4 Carbine,” commented the Sergeant on the terrorist team’s lack of skillz. “Another team member told me that one of the terrorists tried to throw a HE grenade at him, only to have it bounce off a wall and right back at the terrorist, taking himself out.

However, the n00bness does not fall squarely on the terrorists, as the Sergeant revealed that his counter-terrorist team had one black sheep. “We had this ‘tard early in who kept throwing flash-bang grenades at our faces. Later, he repeatedly shot his other team mates while calling them ‘FAGS’ out loud. He was acting like a real a dick.” There is no need for worry however, for the rogue individual’s misconduct has already been reported to the proper authorities and has earned him a permanent ban from the United Server Admins Council.

“We’ve won the battle, but we’ve still got the rest of the war to fight,” said the anxious Sergeant. “Next week we’re going to De_Aztec, an archeological ruin site in a South American jungle. We received a tip that terrorists are going to blow up a section of the area filled with unimportant crates there, the same as it was here.” When asked of their plans on the imminent attack, the counter-terrorist team explained that instead of taking pre-emptive measures such as red taping the whole place or conduct raids raiding the terrorist camp first, they will engage the terrorist the very second they arrive at De_Aztec, and both the terrorist and the counter-terrorist teams will start on zones furthest from each other where they will spend about five seconds buying weapons and equipment before the fight starts.

Finally, the Sergeant was quoted as saying: “Counter-terrorists win.”

- Reuters