KUALA LUMPUR - A recent research conducted by The Institute of Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad’s Thinking revealed that the former Prime Minister of Malaysia possesses a 12th level intelligence, the highest degree of intellect that far surpasses any mortal being.

In comparison, an average chimpanzee has an intelligence level of 2, while great minds such as Stephen Hawking, Einstein, and Tesla are within the level 8 league. An average human is around 5.

“This revelation totally blew us away,” said Said Shahri, one of the members tasked with conducting the important research. “We had professors who came all the way from New Zealand just to examine an exact virtual model of Mahathir’s incredible brain. It took only a few minutes of observation before they came to doubt if Mahathir was ever human.”

“Yes, it is true that I have superhuman intelligence,” admitted Dr. Mahathir, who is now known as Mahathir Prime, who communicated with our reporters using high-level telepathy. “And I must admit that all of my actions during the 20 years of my term as Prime Minister were meant to steer Malaysians into the next evolutionary state of consciousness, thus creating a society comprised of meta-humans. Evidently though, I’ve discovered that you can’t turn monkeys into Da Vincis in one fifths of a century.”

It is widely believed that this is the very reason he left Barisan National only recently. The small and shallow mindset of the party must have been too constricting for his unimaginably vast understanding of the universe. “I had visions, VISIONS I tell you, that would have taken Malaysia to the next evolutionary step,” clarified Mahathir Prime, “but the neanderthals down at the hall of Barisan National were holding me back. The consequence? Oil-prices went up, ministers caught in sex tapes, mongolian women being blown up to bits, 8-year-old girls going missing every month, and Akademi Fantasia still getting air time.”

One reporter from another news agency questioned him about the infamous allegations of rigging judiciary appointments to his favor. Mahathir Prime disapprovingly stared deep into the reporter’s eyes, petrifying him for a brief moment before he dropped on all fours and started to make goat sounds. “Puny mortals such as him do not deserve to have human intelligence,” remarked Mahathir Prime as the brainwashed reporter ran out of the conference hall and shat into a flower pot right next to the elevator.

If this is true, then it explains how a third-world nation such as Malaysia rose from its humble roots as a backwater third-world country that nobody cares about to a modernized, developing country that still nobody cares about. It was Mahathir Prime’s 20 years of unparalleled leadership that transformed this nation from being completely unrecognized by the world into a nation that is at least vaguely recognizable and is often related by foreigners as ‘the large country just north of Singapore.’

According to The Institute’s Chairman, Professor Ivy Tan, Mahathir Prime has proven the sheer awesomeness of his intelligence in more than one occasion. “His mind is so powerful, he once shot his own brainwaves back in time and right into the late Tunku Abdul Rahman’s mind, bestowing him the idea of an independent nation in the first place.”

“During the Asian financial crisis of 1997,” added Professor Ivy Tan, “he almost strained his brain just to hold down the market inflation by sheer telekinesis alone.” Our reporters tried to confirm with Mahathir Prime on whether or not he really did accomplish those feats, but our questions were unheeded; our primitive human voice must have sounded like growling animal sounds to his vastly superior consciousness.

Despite his 12th level intellect, Mahathir Prime is a few points short of beating Lee Kuan Yew, the former Prime Minister of Singapore who currently possesses a 13th level Ultra-mind.