Once upon a time, deep in the enchanted forests of Forestland, Sang Beruang was lying next to a log, wasted after a long night of booze. Suddenly out of the corner of a bush came out Sang Kancil, hopping and prancing ecstatically here and there with joyful abandon.

“Hey there, Beruang!” yelled Sang Kancil as he passed by. “Oh, look at you, you look so down and pale. Maybe you should stop your drinking habit and come join me in hopping around. That way you’ll be all happy and full of life, just like me!”

“Geez Kancil, you’re right!” exclaimed Sang Beruang, snapping out of his wasted condition. Maybe I should stop my drinking habit and join you!”

The now sober and full-spirited Sang Beruang joined Sang Kancil as they hopped together happily in the forest. They soon came upon Sang Musang, who was cowering inside a hole, shivering because of his drug addiction.

“Good day there, Musang!” yelled Sang Kancil as he, along with Sang Beruang, passed by. “Oh my goodness, just look at you, all shriveled up and shaky! Maybe you should stop doping on drugs and join me in hopping around. That way you’ll be all happy and full of life, just like me!”

“My god, you’re right Kancil!” exclaimed Sang Musang, coming out of the hole and ceasing to shiver. “Maybe I should stop my drug addiction and join you guys!”

The now clean and full spirited Sang Musang joined Sang Kancil and Sang Beruang as they hopped together happily in the forest. They soon came upon Sang Harimau, who was sitting under a tree puffing a bong.

“Hello there, Harimau!” yelled Sang Kancil as he, along with Sang Beruang and Sang Musang passed by. “Good lord, look at you, your face so lifeless and unhapp-“

Before Sang Kancil could finish his sentence, Sang Harimau roared with anger. “Leave me the fuck alone, you stupid fucktard!” roared Sang Harimau as he threw a large rock at Sang Kancil’s head. Sang Kancil yelped in pain as he ran away, disappearing into the depths of the brush and canopies of the forest.

Sang Beruang and Sang Musang were bewildered, at the same time disappointed at Sang Harimau’s negative attitude. “Why did you treat Kancil like that, Harimau?” growled Sang Beruang. “All he wanted was to make us all happy!”

“Yeah, Harimau,” added Sang Musang. “Kancil was just trying to help us overcoming our habits. Why did you have to act like an asshole?”

“Humph,” grunted Sang Harimau as he continued to smoke his bong. “Whenever that bastard Kancil gets high on weed, he’ll always hop around the forest telling people to join him.”

It was a lively and sunny day in Forestland whenThe King of Forestland, Sang Singa, held a mass meeting with all the animals in the forest to discuss about a certain issue. The crowd was packed, from small creatures like birds and woodland creatures to huge beasts such as bears and crocodiles.

“Greetings, my animal friends and loyal subjects,” Sang Singa spoke to his audience as he stood on the podium-shaped rock. “Today we have a matter of great urgency to discuss.”

The ranks of animals in front of him murmured amongst themselves as Sang Singa cleared his throat. “For the last week, I’ve had talks with Gajah, our Minister of Energy and Animal Resources, and we’ve decided that, due to the fresh water crisis, we will have to increase the price of fresh water up to 6.5 Acorns per litre.”

After the announcement, loud gasps reverberated throughout the crowd, followed by unanimous boos and yells. Soon the crowd erupted into a state of anger and dissatisfaction, with insults to Sang Singa being heard from the far rear ranks.

“Now now, I know that this doesn’t bode well with all of you,” said Sang Singa, trying to calm the crowd. “But the short supply of fresh water still remains a problem, and we all must do our part by adjusting our lifestyle to accommodate the new circumstances. For example, whenever you want to pee, you should find a split coconut shell and pee in it. That way you can drink it up the next time you feel thirsty, thus conserving fresh water for me to wash my furry ass after I take a crap.”

By now, all the animals were in rage. The monkeys were howling like mad while the elephants stomped the ground, their trunks thundering derogatory remarks at Sang Singa.

“As King of Forestland, I too have to make sacrifices,” continued Sang Singa. “For example, I was planning to turn Forestland’s one and only waterfall into my own personal fun lagoon, but since we’re having a fresh water crisis, I’ve opted for the estuary instead. As you can see even I have to struggle during this difficult tim-“

Before Sang Singa could finish his sentence, a coconut, thown by an enraged monkey, flew right towrads Sang Singa’s head, knocking him unconscious. By this time, all the animals were roaring and growling as they thrashed the whole place in a fit of angry protest. Two baboon bodyguards dragged Sang Singa out of the fray while the badger riot squad rushed in with their sticks to suppress the growing riot.

And so all the animals of Forestland lived happily ever after.