Most of you readers probably know that Xbox360, the highly-anticipated successor to the Xbox developed by Microsoft, has already been released for retail a few weeks ago in the United States while the rest of the world will have to wait for the coming December or early in 2006. The gaming rig, armed with advanced processing power, cutting-edge Radeon graphics, sleek new design and a spanking list of 20 new titles for the launch, will face fierce competition when Sony and Nintendo, two of the biggest names in console development, releases their next-generation console systems, the Playstation 3 and the Nintendo Revolution respectively, with both of them scheduled for release in mid 2006.

As a veteran and hard core gamer, I feel that a momentous occasion such as the release of Xbox360 serves as a footnote in gaming history, as Microsoft’s C.E.O and Chairman Bill Gates is poised to turn the Xbox line of consoles into a household name while trying to dethrone the all powerful Sony Corp and, at the same time, chisel away the old school Nintendo Ltd out of the competition. As an accomplished journalist, I, Raysheadth Roseland, took some pains to conduct an interview with none other than the multi-billionaire Bill Gates himself to discuss the future and opportunity for the Xbox360.

ME: Thank you, Mr. Gates, for taking some time out of your busy schedule to sit with us for this interview.

BILL GATES: We’re chatting on MSN Messenger, Mr. Roseland.

ME: I know that. I just like to imagine myself being in the host of a popular talk show, sitting on a nice comfy sofa on a stage set with a live audience cheering in front of me, so please bear with me. Oh, and by the way, please don’t call me by my last name; I’d rather you call me Mr. Raysheadth instead.

BILL GATES: Oooohkay…

ME: I’m glad that you understand, Mr. Gates. Please, by all means, have a sip of Mochachinno on the table next to you.

BILL GATES: …

ME: …

BILL GATES: …

ME: Ehem, so Mr. Gates…if there is only one question in the world that I could ask of you, then it would either be if there is any way I can be as filthy rich as you are or whether or not the Windows OS was coded by Satan. But since such unprofessional questions would be extremely offensive to you, I’m left with this query: What are your thoughts on the recently-released Xbox360? Any expectations?

BILL GATES: Well, I can’t tell you my secret to become a multi-zillionaire like I am, and I can’t reveal to you the details and intricacies behind the development of WindowsXP, although your accusation of it being programmed by Satan was surprisingly close. But I can tell you this, Mr. Raysheadth – Xbox360 is the future, and you should have no doubt about it. We’ve worked so hard to push the boundaries of console technology with the Xbox360. In fact, we’ve even gone so far as to chain the ankles of our Research & Development team, lock them inside the computer lab, and forced them to work their asses off 24-7 under extreme scrutiny, and if any one of the members has the gall to doze off or day dream, then a huge man wearing a LOTR Balrog suit will suddenly appear in front of the poor fool and, with his fiery whip, mercilessly lashes his back like the pitiful slave that he is.

ME: Interesting. I guess morale-boosting techniques in the corporate world have changed a lot these days. Please, do elaborate more on what you meant by the Xbox360 being the future of console gaming. What sort of opportunity and promise does the console hold that would change the console gaming market which, for the last two decades, have been in the tight grip of several Japanese-based electronic companies such as Sony, Nintendo and the now defunct Sega?

BILL GATES: Well, Mr. Raysheadth, to tell you the truth, when I first hatched an idea about an all-American gaming console, I never knew that the system would go so far as to rival the PS or even the Gamecube. But thanks to the Halo series, we’ve finally built a foothold for our expansion into the gaming market, and we’re expanding our frontlines with Xbox360. As we speak, my PR team is working hard with my lawyers to find a lopehole in the judicial system which somehow states that it is illegal for a a family in a household to own any other console besides the Xbox360, and that each person who is 18 or above is required by law to buy at least one copy of any of the Halo titles.

ME: Quite an interesting perspective you have there. No doubt that Halo was one of the important titles that had catapulted the original Xbox among the ranks of the big players and made Xbox into a household name. But with Halo 3 still in development and won’t turn gold until mid next year, what kind of strategy do you have in mind to rope in the millions of gamers who had bought the first Xbox just so that they could play Halo and it’s sequel Halo 2, which are by far the only two games worth playing among the sea of pathetic and underachieving crap titles such as Oddworld and Dead or Alive?

BILL GATES: Good question there, Mr. Raysheadth. You probably remembered how we’ve demonstrated the advanced technological capabilities of the Xbox360 in several pass press releases. What we didn’t show you in the demos was the fact that each Xbox360 machine has a built-in chip that locks into the brainwave pattern of any Xbox360 user, making anyone who so much as even touches the D-pad ends up being instantly hooked to the machine…for life, or at least until Xbox3 comes up.

ME: Er…a sound marketing plan. But, Mr. Gates…aren’t you worried that mind-influencing devices such as the afore-mentioned mind-locking chip would lead to outrage among several public entities including concerned parents, human-rights groups, international governments, and several terrorists organizations? As human beings with a sense of free will, you have to agree that most of us are a little bit unnerved about your idea of a chip that is basically digital marijuana on steroids.

BILL GATES: I sense your worries there, Mr. Raysheadth. Besides, I didn’t become the richest multi-kajillionaire on the planet by ignoring my customers, slave or otherwise. Here at Microsoft, we understand our customers more than they understand themselves, so we know exactly what’s good for them and what’s not. And what’s good for them is that they stay glued to the Xbox360 for the rest of their meaningless lives, only leaving the house just to buy the latest copy of Halo, continuing to feed my wealth into such an ineffable amount that I would be able to buy myself entire countries with a write of a check.

ME: Well, I should say that such a bold move requires extensive planning, not to mention a huge drain on your resources. It is a long shot, and if I am not mistaken, you are beginning to sound like a madman who is hell-bent on taking over the world. Would acts such as forcing people to play the Xbox360 beyond their will and ‘buying entire countries with a write of a check’ constitute to you bringing about a new world order under your supreme leadership?

BILL GATES: Precisely, my good man. I can see it, Mr. Raysheadth, I can see with clarity my future as Imperator Bill Gates, Lord of the Microsoft Empire, Sovereign of Humanity. We’ve already begun a project under the co-operation of several underground pharmaceutical organizations to develop a new type of synthetic humans. These humans will be able to accurately resemble anyone, right down to their DNA sub-structure, and we will send them to infiltrate into the highest ranks of government bodies and organizations by kidnapping real world leaders and replacing them with our puppet synths. As of now, we are nearly done with a prototype synth that resembles George W. Bush, and should be ready to ‘replace’ the President around mid 2006.

ME: Around mid 2006? As I recalled, that is the period of time which you will release the widely-anticipated Halo 3 for the Xbox360. Such an event would surely pull a lot of public attention, thus making the transition between the President and your ‘synth’ that much easier. Mr. Gates, I must say that I admire your brilliance. Since this meeting, I think I’ve begun to have a newfound respect for your wise decision-making and ruthlessness in striving for your goal, both being important characteristics for a cold-blooded despot.

BILL GATES: I’m glad you understood, Mr. Raysheadth., because you might as well kneel before me and kiss my foot as a sign of respect to your future dictator, for I am the future of humanity, and I shall hold a tight grip on the leash of mankind, and that grip will be cold and inhumane. As for those who would have the mettle to oppose my future new world order, we’ve begun an R&D project to create the most efficient and lethal cyborg warrior, codenamed Sentinel, with it’s AI code based on our latest Windows technology. Once the project is finished, we will mass-produce the Sentinels and send them to silence the rebellion. And when I mean silence, I mean that the streets will run red with the blood of the rebels, man woman and child, while their dead carcasses will be sent to bio-processing plants so that they can be processed to fuel the might of my machine-like empire. So says Imperator Bill Gates, Lord of the Microsoft Empire, Sovereign of Humanity.

ME: You shouldn’t count your eggs before they hatch, Mr. Gates. Despite your well-thought-out plans of world domination, there will always be that one person who you’ll forget to count upon, the heroic underdog who will throw a wrench into the cogs of your tyrannical rule. He will be nothing but a simple man; trapped in the wrong place at the wrong time, unsure of his fate, yet eventually he will realize his true destiny and stand stoically against all odds, battling his way through your relentless minions. In the end, he will rise up before you and, in the last climactic battle between the forces of good and evil, finally dethrone you of your unjust ways, thus starting a new golden age of freedom and enlightenment the likes of which has never happened before in the annals of humanity.

BILL GATES: We shall see about that, Mr. Raysheadth.

ME: Indeed, we shall, Mr. Gates.

BILL GATES: …

ME: …

BILL GATES: …

ME: Ehem … well that’s about it for this session. Again, many thanks to you, Mr. Gates for being here in this insightful interview regarding the future of Xbox360.

BILL GATES: You’re certainly welcome, Mr. Raysheadth. And…err, you still realize that this interview was purely conducted through MSN Messenger, right?

ME: Yeah, I know. What can I say … I love Larry King.